Well, many of you will agree, many of you will not and most of you won't understand it or make a meaning out of it which suits you. I had a recent transition from being in a steady relationship to tying knots and it was something I hoped for from the time I met her and my love for her continues to grow till date. Feelings have changed and for good. Within 9 months of me being in marriage, we are expecting a baby and this is what I am talking about basically. Yes, in just nine months into my marriage, I have become not only a husband, but will also be a dad. It feels kind of weird at times to be in this position but with so many good things happening at the same time, and such beautiful vibes surrounding me and our family, it seems like a dream come true.
The fact of the matter is something that is happening inside me. I keep asking myself constantly, am I prepared for it? Am I ready to do this? Will I be a good dad, or a good husband for that matter? I never actually had to go through such retrospection in my 8-9 years of my relationship with my wife, before marriage. This is something that marriage does to you. It makes you responsible and answerable, even more. I feel the same for her and our relationship, but the colors and the depth has deepened and are more intensified. I feel insecure, in a way I never felt before. None of the thousand articles I read on marriage or becoming dad told me that as a to-be dad or a new husband, you will be afraid of dying. I never even thought about it before and now, this fear just grips me too tightly to let go. May be its just me, or maybe it's everyone or maybe, it's just me out of everyone who is speaking out. Whatever it is, my fear of dying is not because of me, it is for them. I know I am all right and I know will be, for a long time to come with God's grace, but this 'Final Destination' running inside my head 24/7 can get really discomforting for clear thoughts and clarity to come in.
As a to-be-dad, I am not sure of what I feel for my son/daughter to be as I am blank on that part. I know I need to provide the best for them in everything, I know my responsibilities, I know I need to take care of them and nurture them enough to make them good for this ugly world. However, what I don't know yet is will I be able to feel the same way my wife feels for him/her. It is just hard to believe that time is flying so fast that before I can set one puzzle right, another drops in and it is a continuous sequence of puzzles dropping in from nowhere, making my life a puzzle, which if you see is actually very simple and straight. I have a loving family, lovely beautiful wife, would be a proud dad soon, God has been kind with money and more or less everything is going good, but this Victorian melodrama that is being created by what I feel along with the chapters of Final Destination added, takes me for a beautiful ride, I am not sure I can ride pretty well.
Thursday, February 21, 2013
Monday, July 18, 2011
If You Can't Be Happy, You Can't Keep Happy !!
Well, it's true, isn't it? I feel that in a relationship, one has to be happy to keep other happy and that is why, there should be a mutual understanding which lets each other know when they are happy, sad, excited, angry, etc and thus, react appropriately to such feelings.
But, is it possible or am I being optimistic? Well, I've been in a relationship for as long as I can remember and nothing like that has ever happened and all those girls out there, I am a guy FYI !!
Yeah Right !!
Girls, well, if you really want to understand girls, you need some kind of super natural powers and that I guess only two people could have had either David Blaine or Houdini and I don't have the access to one who's alive and to other, I might have but it would be too late by then for me to care.
First rule of life I learned when I was thirsty and there was only a gulp of water in the last bottle of water available in my tuition classes, I drank it whole even when others where in queue and it was like, two hours more to go before class would end. Half of you would guess, its being selfish but from where I look at it, I see that I love myself more than anyone else, even though there were few very close friends out there too !!
This is the policy you can't actually showcase completely in a relationship because love has to be selfless, forgiving, not self centered and blah blah blah !! But, yes if you love more and don't go out of the way too often, you might actually see that you are happy and when that happens, you will see that you are able to do things which your companion actually expects and that she doesn't have to ask. And Yeah girls, don't ask us too much and we will do much more than you could ask, but yah when we feel like it not when you want us to..
There is a thin line which separates every thought crossing your mind right now and also every opinion your heart or mind is voicing right now, if you really give a thought. If you are in a relationship, you should be happy ideally but most of the people I know have had problems or have problems or may be will have problem and rest of them are happy but I unfortunately don't know them. I am not happy but neither too unhappy because I do what I feel like and I do what she asks me to as well, sooner or later. She is compromising in the way that she wants it sooner but its OK if I do it later and I am compromising that I am doing it nevertheless.
So, you adjust but you should never succumb. Well, there is no thumb rule, but whatever works for you. You be happy you talk, make real good love, eat out often, laugh a lot and give more hugs and you be unhappy and unsatisfied mostly and you see yourself drooling away with negative emotions and irritation that will creep in sooner or later and anything sweet will turn sour immediately. And all the happiness will be sucked in by your mood swings and discontent like a blotting paper wiping the wet table. You will shout and scream and fight for reasons which makes no sense to anyone with li'l brains, but you.
In life, there are few good worthy things which you will remember every day because there are many things which will need some kind of reminder. So, live your life in a way that every day is worth remembering for something or the other. Let your partner understand you first and give enough space to her in your life that she understands you. Don't go by how other couples live their life, make your own standards. Make your own way. There should never ever be any comparision and give your wifey a cute hug whenever you can, and a tight one as well. If you don't show how much you love her, she will never know and if you don't say her how much you hate her, she will never believe when you say I love you to her.
Don't try to understand your girl or just any girl for that matter. The one you love and one who loves you are all who matters. There will never be any issue if you don't create one and if you are a nice listener, you will always win with your silence. One should never try to understand women because their mystery is what will make you fall in love and if you kill that, what will keep you together anyways. Being happy is a art when you are in a relationship, undertsanding small differences rather than forcing a solutions. Let few problems exist as long as they act as a glue to your relationship. Don't be in a relationship if you are a perfectionist. Don't upset yourself because there are problems, be happy that you know the secret that you don't acyually need solutions to each and every problems to keep your relationship afloat, you just need an understanding and little bit of love with good amount of trust.
So, be happy, do good work, get busy, make a living, be ambitiouos, have a goal with a plan, give hugs more, smile often, forget and drive on faster and hang on to negativity for no more time than what you give to tissue papers. Just live your life man and give love as much as you can, whatever is yours, will be yours.
Keep Faith.
But, is it possible or am I being optimistic? Well, I've been in a relationship for as long as I can remember and nothing like that has ever happened and all those girls out there, I am a guy FYI !!
Yeah Right !!
Girls, well, if you really want to understand girls, you need some kind of super natural powers and that I guess only two people could have had either David Blaine or Houdini and I don't have the access to one who's alive and to other, I might have but it would be too late by then for me to care.
First rule of life I learned when I was thirsty and there was only a gulp of water in the last bottle of water available in my tuition classes, I drank it whole even when others where in queue and it was like, two hours more to go before class would end. Half of you would guess, its being selfish but from where I look at it, I see that I love myself more than anyone else, even though there were few very close friends out there too !!
This is the policy you can't actually showcase completely in a relationship because love has to be selfless, forgiving, not self centered and blah blah blah !! But, yes if you love more and don't go out of the way too often, you might actually see that you are happy and when that happens, you will see that you are able to do things which your companion actually expects and that she doesn't have to ask. And Yeah girls, don't ask us too much and we will do much more than you could ask, but yah when we feel like it not when you want us to..
There is a thin line which separates every thought crossing your mind right now and also every opinion your heart or mind is voicing right now, if you really give a thought. If you are in a relationship, you should be happy ideally but most of the people I know have had problems or have problems or may be will have problem and rest of them are happy but I unfortunately don't know them. I am not happy but neither too unhappy because I do what I feel like and I do what she asks me to as well, sooner or later. She is compromising in the way that she wants it sooner but its OK if I do it later and I am compromising that I am doing it nevertheless.
So, you adjust but you should never succumb. Well, there is no thumb rule, but whatever works for you. You be happy you talk, make real good love, eat out often, laugh a lot and give more hugs and you be unhappy and unsatisfied mostly and you see yourself drooling away with negative emotions and irritation that will creep in sooner or later and anything sweet will turn sour immediately. And all the happiness will be sucked in by your mood swings and discontent like a blotting paper wiping the wet table. You will shout and scream and fight for reasons which makes no sense to anyone with li'l brains, but you.
In life, there are few good worthy things which you will remember every day because there are many things which will need some kind of reminder. So, live your life in a way that every day is worth remembering for something or the other. Let your partner understand you first and give enough space to her in your life that she understands you. Don't go by how other couples live their life, make your own standards. Make your own way. There should never ever be any comparision and give your wifey a cute hug whenever you can, and a tight one as well. If you don't show how much you love her, she will never know and if you don't say her how much you hate her, she will never believe when you say I love you to her.
Don't try to understand your girl or just any girl for that matter. The one you love and one who loves you are all who matters. There will never be any issue if you don't create one and if you are a nice listener, you will always win with your silence. One should never try to understand women because their mystery is what will make you fall in love and if you kill that, what will keep you together anyways. Being happy is a art when you are in a relationship, undertsanding small differences rather than forcing a solutions. Let few problems exist as long as they act as a glue to your relationship. Don't be in a relationship if you are a perfectionist. Don't upset yourself because there are problems, be happy that you know the secret that you don't acyually need solutions to each and every problems to keep your relationship afloat, you just need an understanding and little bit of love with good amount of trust.
So, be happy, do good work, get busy, make a living, be ambitiouos, have a goal with a plan, give hugs more, smile often, forget and drive on faster and hang on to negativity for no more time than what you give to tissue papers. Just live your life man and give love as much as you can, whatever is yours, will be yours.
Keep Faith.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Welcome To Once-Upon-A-Time-Man CLUB !!
Hi There,
This blog is created because creating this club here was in my hand, many other things which were possible before are not. Reason? No I was not sent to Iraq by US Army, neither am I a billionaire that I have no time for anything. I have all the time in the world and little money as well, but no Freedom. Again Why? Because I have a Girlfriend or you can say, I am Married (No, not technically yet), all the same. You love her, can do anything for her, but sometimes you just want to run away, sometimes you even regret (you know what), sometimes you feel like hitting or even killing (we don't endorse this here though, if you do, we don't wanna know it :).
This club is for men who are in LOVE. MEN who like being in love, but want it to be customized according to their needs while not surrendering to the need of their partner, wrong needs,illogical needs, insensible needs and many other needs, count of which is approximately the number of mysteries Sherlock Holmes have solved.
Do you feel you have become Robot? Oh Yeah !! Are you as efficient as Robots should be? Hell NO !! Why Not? No I am not talking about walking on moon without oxygen mask on. You can be better at jobs you are doing currently, isn't it? Do it more, or may be even earn more. But, Oh boy !! you are in love.
Are you getting to what I am pointing here? No? Then please leave this blog and thanks for visiting. Others, I am sure you want to share, feel, console, contribute, experience, grieve, cry, break your PC right now, and last but not the least, know that you are not alone. Men here know exactly what you feel and we want to know more and know your experiences. Yes, we know things could've been better and just the way you always dreamed of. We know that you are that kind of person who would kill yourself rather then read till here, but no Sir, it was all Once upon a time.
If only she understood, isn't it? We feel the same. This is a mission, with a big aimbition to let the women of the world know how men exactly feel and we need your help to make our mission reach further and deeper. Relationships can be great,and love would not be that slow poison after all, but we need to know your opinions, experiences, grievances, suggestions and feedback to make this live and happening, on a bigger platform and in bigger scale so that men can be man because now days, men are not being men anymore, it was all once upon a time mate.
Keep faith.
Send us your feedback and we will post it here @ niharrathore@gmail.com
Nick
This blog is created because creating this club here was in my hand, many other things which were possible before are not. Reason? No I was not sent to Iraq by US Army, neither am I a billionaire that I have no time for anything. I have all the time in the world and little money as well, but no Freedom. Again Why? Because I have a Girlfriend or you can say, I am Married (No, not technically yet), all the same. You love her, can do anything for her, but sometimes you just want to run away, sometimes you even regret (you know what), sometimes you feel like hitting or even killing (we don't endorse this here though, if you do, we don't wanna know it :).
This club is for men who are in LOVE. MEN who like being in love, but want it to be customized according to their needs while not surrendering to the need of their partner, wrong needs,illogical needs, insensible needs and many other needs, count of which is approximately the number of mysteries Sherlock Holmes have solved.
Do you feel you have become Robot? Oh Yeah !! Are you as efficient as Robots should be? Hell NO !! Why Not? No I am not talking about walking on moon without oxygen mask on. You can be better at jobs you are doing currently, isn't it? Do it more, or may be even earn more. But, Oh boy !! you are in love.
Are you getting to what I am pointing here? No? Then please leave this blog and thanks for visiting. Others, I am sure you want to share, feel, console, contribute, experience, grieve, cry, break your PC right now, and last but not the least, know that you are not alone. Men here know exactly what you feel and we want to know more and know your experiences. Yes, we know things could've been better and just the way you always dreamed of. We know that you are that kind of person who would kill yourself rather then read till here, but no Sir, it was all Once upon a time.
If only she understood, isn't it? We feel the same. This is a mission, with a big aimbition to let the women of the world know how men exactly feel and we need your help to make our mission reach further and deeper. Relationships can be great,and love would not be that slow poison after all, but we need to know your opinions, experiences, grievances, suggestions and feedback to make this live and happening, on a bigger platform and in bigger scale so that men can be man because now days, men are not being men anymore, it was all once upon a time mate.
Keep faith.
Send us your feedback and we will post it here @ niharrathore@gmail.com
Nick
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